Statistically immortal

by Roald Sinissaar »

First of all, let’s get one thing straight. “This is an argument, not a negotiation.”

TIKmensch, noun – a person of great stature and even greater education. Easily spotted, impossible to catch. Striking powers of observation, argumentation; can handle great amounts of stress.

Secondly let me assure you that not one TIKmensch has passed away till this day. In part owing to the fact that no TIKmensch has not even graduated yet, but at the same time we’re very much alive.

Spring 2007 – approx. 60 TIKmensch graduate Tallinn English College.

Today I got thinking. How will we die? 1:300M die from shark attacks, but we’re not likely to take a vacation and go swimming, ever. 1:250M die from a coconut falling on their head, see previous excuse. 1:10M get struck by lightning. Lightning is afraid of TIKmensch. 1:3M get food poisoning. In Soviet Russia, poison food you. Same applies to TIKmensch. If you’re a leftie, there’s a 1:4,4M chance you’ll get killed by a product made for right-handed people. TIKmensch are both-handed. 1:2M die falling out of their bed; we don’t sleep. 1:43,5k die in a work accident. While fitting, TIKmensch cause accidents, they don’t fall victims.

Beside cancer and heart attacks, there’s nothing that can kill us!

Immortal until proven otherwise.

About the author

Roald-Henrik Sinissaar is a student slash freelance designer slash creative dimwit, who, in addition to designing this blog, has put the better part of his better years into creative tasks administered by higher powers.

And he shall never again speak of himself in the third person.