Nice.

Wikipedia represents something like the cumulation of 100 million hours of human thought.

And television watching? Two hundred billion hours, in the U.S. alone, every year.

We keep a large percentage of the working population idle, because we can dispense with their labor by making the others overwork. When all these methods prove inadequate, we have a war: we cause a number of people to manufacture high explosives, and a number of others to explode them, as if we were children who had just discovered fireworks. By a combination of all these devices we manage, though with difficulty, to keep alive the notion that a great deal of severe manual work must be the lot of the average man.

Bertrand Russell, In Praise of Idleness

“Begin at the beginning,” the King said gravely, “and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”

Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Among the finest creations of cinematography out there.

I just want to give you my money and get it over with, thanks.

The futility player is the person who sees the utter futility of going on but goes on anyway, out of sheer perversity. It’s a ridiculous position to find oneself in, but there you are. And it’s not so hard really. All you have to do is put on your glove and go where the coach tells you.

From Unremitting Failure.

Life (and my former life, TIK), explained.

1. Opening Gmail Mobile on my - well - mobile today, it happily presented me with some random user’s email.
2. The random user was Estonian, as the subjects indicated.
3. She and 2 of her non-smoking friends didn’t get the apartment they were looking for.

a) At first I was simply baffled on why and how I got so much new email with strange subjects and didn’t get what was going on. Meaning: I didn’t intend to read someone else’s mail.
b) The problem is gone by now.

The marginal production cost of software is zero. That’s what the price should be.

Ain’t he a genius.

* as in “stupid so far beyond imagination that the word itself is ashamed”

“I wanted to see exotic Vietnam - the jewel of Southeast Asia. I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture, and kill them. (src)

But then, I think we all know how long that lasted…

Movie “Fracture”

What it’s going to be, I don’t know. Or perhaps I do, deep inside. This is difficult territory. Life is difficult territory. For a crowd flowed over London Bridge, uninvited, unwanted, unhappy, undead. In front walked an old man, stooping his weight on to a stick, his hair grizzled white, a dark red blanked slung over his shoulders like a cloak. Towards the unreal city, where there is no water but only rock. I did not understand myself. It seems, that at last there is proof, proof positive, that the spirit in seven days decayed into whispered nonsense. I have only a single word left to say, and a single movement to make.

Where we’re standing right now, in the ruins of the dark, what we build could be anything.

I’ll happily hand the project over to some philanthropic foundation devoted to expanding the sum of human knowledge. (Should they too be mentally disturbed.)

Goal: Get user to go and fill out application form after carefully explaining why he or she should do so and thoroughly going over the many benefits it would bring.

The link discussed is circled in red in the screenshot below.

Everything started with this small and concise link:

Being so important, it had to be made more distinguishable from the rest of the content:

Still… something’s missing.

Better. But that doesn’t look like a link any more. I need to convey some action.

Perfect, I thought. Everything was published and the pleased me sat back and enjoyed a glass of water.

Then, looking at the numbers is appeared that only ~10% of visitors to that page clicked the link. They must be blind, the obvious thought emerged. Yet again, more just do it elements were added:

Now the clickthrough rate dropped even more, to roughly 5%. A person interviewed for a usability study said he could not understand the “decorative arrows”. Umm… he must mean the arrows POINTING TO THE F****** LINK FROM EVERY DIRECTION.

Well…

If that won’t do it, nothing will.

“Everything I have read on this subject encourages me to think that a TV can kill you. (src)

Also known as the scary side of the theory of relativity. Physics rocks!

Basically is is about the fact that people do in fact like games that are about more than killing disturbing-looking monsters accompanied by rivers of blood and various organs. Plus it is a fun read for the nice trivia and other curiosities.

Of course none of you will find it interesting, but it crossed the “worth sharing” threshold for me and my quirky interests.

Media is a way of communicating message. Advertising/marketing is the message. One can not be influenced by the media (the exception of true tv-addicts will not be covered here), but rather the message within.

In today’s world a lot of people try to claim that everything around is advertising, and that advertising is fake and wrong and evil and everything mankind should combat with all its willpower. Labeling all influence “advertising” really ruins the true meaning of that science and destroys the possibility of fighting the ads that are truly evil. Everything is nothing, and if everything is called marketing, nothing is marketing.

The Media in the “media is evil”-type statements typically stands for tv, radio, newspapers. So what these channels are used for messages the validity and quality of which viewers-readers can never judge. It is still just another way of speaking to people. If there is someone who blindly believes anything on tv, any other medium (the widest meaning of the word) would do the same. If someone has a brain, no medium will be brainwashing him.

Wag the Dog did demonstrate the power of the machine, if used properly. I believe the topic “Am I influenced by the media” is incorrect to be related with Wag the Dog and therefore only do it in this useless sentence.

If studies show that Cillit bang bang bang type ads actually do increase sales, then 4 years of quiet promotion can only do good. People will get a nice, warm and cozy feeling when they see the tv spot by the party that gave them a fuzzy scarf years back. And vote.

“There is little future,” Mike thought, “for someone who is dead.”

They whisper in the night, wanting to be your friend and entertain you and provide massive amounts of very cool knowledge and pleasure and fun.

The fun of being me, and others trying to convince me it (the fun) does not exist. Out-of-body experiences for the modern man. Dreaming about oneself without knowing it. “It is all a lie, your brain is playing a long practical joke.” Man and the Internet. All world knowledge in a jar. Wifi to the brain. All-in-all, knowledge is rather useless. Artificial Intelligence. Artificial Intelligence in a jar. Asimov and Let there be light. Humans can’t think. The ultimate fear machine. Fear is wrong. Fear is easy. Viiding and Christian Morgenstern. “What language is that in?” Graveyards, Kalevipoeg, cats, dogs, tails of cats and dogs. Kross. Good night.

here is the always-current and always-surprising Picofiction Generator from a project day in Nov. 2006. Created by Me, Tauno, Anna and Sigrid.

Select some adjectives and then Make Story. Rinse. Repeat. Hate. Enjoy.

Good life.

And then ask
if it is
and was
really so.

• 59% Firefox
• 35% Internet Explorer
• 5% Opera

Quite a nice net-literate crowd…

“I think in the future I’ll keep [my research] even shorter, because I’m coming to the conclusion it’s much easier and more authentic just to make [the story] up.”

says Tibor Fischer.

More people should do it that way. The world would be so much nicer if everything was a brilliantly crafted hoax.

We, the modern young, are (more) free in our choices and don’t need a distinct counter-culture/way to express how different and special and rebel we are. Except there are many who still do, and do it in such masses that being different becomes the mainstream way, turning them into whatever they despised in the first place.

There is no road to be on, no trucks with shiny happy people in the back, inviting passersby on a journey to the west. Less dogmas means less to escape from and more to simply enjoy. More internet means less need to move a muscle to go anywhere when the need should arise. The freedom to not use internet means every opportunity to go out and do stuff. More alcohol means more ways to forget whatever is wrong and make up things that are good.

Less people reading books means less chance of someone finding something so influential as to change the way of life of enough young to actually matter.

I don’t believe in what Kerouac says because I did not like book itself. I do believe in what he says because life would be too empty otherwise. I don’t believe in what he says because life would be too one-sided otherwise. I do believe

Books will still be bought by the meter.

A rattling sound distinguishes itself from the remaining, monotone, hum, varies in pitch, has small breaks, then morphs into a clicking sound.

Then silence.

CD burnt.

But there was work to do. And old acquaintance to help out. The path of revenge had been long…

Silence, almost. A hum slowly emerges into that old country tune from time to time. Yet speakers are silent, a tremor rolls through the world and back again. Again.

What is there left to do now? And why, having proven it all to be so temporary.

Back in the old days… forgotten.

The message stays just that. A message. A lone message.

I’ll try to integrate stuff a bit. Soon.

Useless whining.

There’s always time (read: Time *can* always be freed up), so any excuses like that actually mean I don’t want to, not I can’t.

The above statement is especially true with studying. Spending the whole day - early morning to early next morning - learning does not achieve more than a considerably shorter cramming session. The brain simply shuts down after some time. Everybody has Darwin’s unidentified disease (outsiders need to conduct extensive research to find the meaning of this reference).

Yes, this post is a result of 18 years of recurrent disappointments.

Prince: Where is Shrek?

Wooden Boy: Well… I don’t know where he is not.

P: You don’t know where Shrek is?

WB: On the contrary.

P: So you do know where he is?!

WB: I’m possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably do or do not know where he shouldn’t probably be, if that indeed wasn’t where he isn’t.

For the less sharp people among us, this is an extract from Shrek 3 (trailer).

Such things should be shown in class and studied carefully. Just think of the idea of an army of people capable of answering unpleasant questions with such skill and clarity. (Right now TIK only has Kaarin.)

Just think of an army of politicians at a quiz show.

Just think…

For a minor chance of understanding the following, please also read the previous comments on that post.

–

I too frequently believe/feel there is too much bureaucracy and that the government things are too slow.

But then, every once in a while some news story about a social-technological (semi-)breakthrough makes me feel all ‘we-are-so-advanced’ (think e-valimised*, the project that the grand father of technological progress, USA - and many others - can’t manage to set up at all).

* e-valimised in both technical and legislative context

And every very-often, when I hear about another wonderful and revolutionary idea by some brilliant politician I am oh-so-happy that other kind of change is slow in Estonia and that they will likely die before succeeding.

So we are fast *and* slow at the same time and it would help if some massive bulldozer leveled things off a bit.

And no, this is not related to the old/young teacher thing, which seems to be pure absurdity (or, on the other hand, the just-born and the nearly-dead are always very different, not only in an educational context).

* “Real TEC graduate” - someone who has traveled on The Way of TEC for the entire possible duration (currently forms 2-12).

Therefore, statistically, we are going to live forever. And, most importantly, since I am more TEC than Anna, I will eventually WIN!

In other news, I probably won’t make into the first few lessons tomorrow (5. 10).

Disclaimer: I do not guarantee the accuracy of the numbers, decisions that may have actual consequences should not be based on the following information.

Note: The blogs examined do not include Paavo’s, Roald’s, Jaak’s or mine (Roald, Jaak and I are excluded because we didn’t use the official blogging tool, and Paavo is excluded because he’s Paavo.)

Note 2: The “Entries per day” number is calculated using the number of days between the first and last post. This means that someone who wrote his or her first post very late into the blogging assignment may have had a higher score than some regular poster.

So here are the averages*:

* These are per person averages, so “entries” means “average number of total entries for each person”, etc

And now some winners (again, where applicable, these are averages among that person’s posts)

¹ Tauno had almost twice as many total words as the runner-up, Teele.

² To my surprise the second place went to Ronald (200 words/post).

³ Given that long words are complex words Maria is the smartest of us all.

Almost enough to justify buying a *big* iPod…

Now please read some of the comments:
Something on Delfi vs almost the same thing on Slashdot.

Quite a stark contrast, is it not.

The Funny: I am not sure whether it actually is as funny when taken out of context (the entire novel)

The Sad:

Also worth pointing out (from the author’s note):

There is no moral in this novel; it is not bourgeois; it does not say they were wrong to play when they should have toiled; it just tells what the consequences were.

Great entertainment and a dangerous dose of thought provoking deepness hidden within what at first sight appears to be a slightly futuristic detective/action story.

Do read.

And he takes out his laptop and powers up the Emor™ PollMaster™ (whatever) software. And oh look, it’s a DOS application. The poor guy has to answer 10 questions himself just to get to the correct poll.

I wonder if they wouldn’t be 10x more productive if they bought some new cool application that actually helped their employees.

Me, trying to get to the rooftop of a certain factory building, to get a nice view of the night skyline.

A flock of seagulls, trying to stop me from getting there.

Me surrendering, as the flying bastards were getting dangerously close.

This is the best picture I managed to take. Seek, and you shall find the creature. ]]> http://elevantstudios.com/joel-old/2006/05/28/seagulls/feed/ http://elevantstudios.com/joel-old/2006/05/26/microsoft-speak/ http://elevantstudios.com/joel-old/2006/05/26/microsoft-speak/#comments Fri, 26 May 2006 11:07:56 +0000 Joel Uncategorizedlanguagemicrosoft http://elevantstudios.com/joel/2006/05/26/microsoft-speak/ You don’t look at pictures, you consume visual media.
You don’t browse the web, you enjoy a browsing experience.
You don’t send email, you have a productive communication experience.

A clear demonstration that anyone can give viable answers to any questions (and although his answers are vague, they are still on point and correct). And an even clearer demonstration that cab drivers are way smarter than those jackasses that make news programs.

And, the look on the guy’s face where he finds out that he is supposed to be big-important-editor-something is priceless.

I found this today. It must be a few years old, but still summarizes everything so well.

Allow me to explain.

If 51+% of all fiction* is metafiction, metafiction becomes the norm for fiction. So it is no longer fiction about fiction, but rather fiction itself.

Think about it!

* “all fiction” refers to all fiction written within a given timeframe. Meaning that writers do not have to make up for the massive amount of literature produced in the past.

Or not even for the two hours, as I discovered during the physics test.

I was going to post this at school but the blog page wouldn’t load. Fabulous.

Only in TIK™

Sure, a summary is (somewhat) necessary to discuss something that not anyone has read, but you, Paavo, should guide the story-teller to be more concise.

I really do not care if Muhammad and the lady sat on the front or back bumper of the bus.

This is closely related to Birgit’s post from ages ago and even more closely related to Birgit’s comment on this very post.

Update: It just did. Get worse, that is.

A car grinds to a halt as the driver floors the accelerator. The minute-hand is gliding counterclockwise. I am getting smarter and smarter.

And then Birgit appeared out of nowhere. Yellow. Truly made my day.

 
 I kind of suck at this

P: “And by the way, you’re having an achievement paper tomorrow. It has 2 parts. See you then, bye.”

“The mail() function allows you to send mail.

I praise the usefulness of thee, oh grand manual of all things.

06:06:06 06/06/06

11:10:09 08/07/06

BB

 
Please do view this with the browser in full-size mode

“10 percent of all human beings ever born are alive at this very moment.

“Math is difficult”. 10 questions later, “Math is easy”.
“Math is useful”. 8 questions later, “Math is useless”.

I am sure all my various answers to the same fucking question will be very helpful but I am not going to spend my time on 112 bullshit questions like that.

And she wanted us to help with her research paper whatever.

01:11 - The time looking so symmetrical, I shall now go and enjoy a quick shower.

01:41 - So much for quick.

01:50 - To the poems (in theory)!

02:30 - 1 of X

03:33 - 2 of X. The time looking so symmetrical again. To hell with it, X = 2.

can’t tell the little numbers apart any more - The britlit text is far too complex to grasp at my current mental capacity (at the lack of it). (should Paavo read this) - I will read it this evening and produce the paragraphs.

(lightbulb icon)
I can connect it with the “This is me writing” essay/textual creation. Brilliant.

Write about writing about a writing. Meta². Post-modernist fictional meta-metaness. Ultraclever smart writing. Pointless babble.

As I reach my desk, I see Maria sitting where I can usually find Birgit (laughing or doing something else Birgit-like). Utterly confused I take my seat, then look around in despair, looking for help.

“Go away!” I utter, only to receive a grunt from the invader.

The lesson was ruined. Thanks a lot.

 
 
“Ah!? Sorri”.

Anna. | blank says:
and away it went

Bill Jorgeme says:
this understanding extends to all things

Anna. | blank says:
oh really

Bill Jorgeme says:
not really

Bill Jorgeme says:
just seemed like a “wise” thing to say

Now what the f*** is wrong with Holland. Can’t they just love the bloody pictures with the sea and the tree and the pretty green hills.

Indeed, what amazing similarities there are in the use of the number “2″. It truly must take a journalist to notice something of such importance and share his or her knowledge with the rest of the world.

(I probably use the words “web 2.0″ too often in this text.)

Reading a Techcrunch entry about photo sites I couldn’t help but notice the “web 2.0 or else” attitude. What I mean is that the author has been getting increasingly *khm* idiotic, indirectly but constantly spreading the assumption that “web 2.0″ is something you can slap on anything just by adding tagging and feeds.

A good example:

I am urging them to add the obvious web 2.0 features to round this out, starting with RSS feeds for photos and tagging.

Yes, the obvious web 2.0 features. The world will be much better when that site has tagging.

I have no problem with the term “web 2.0″ used to refer to the next generation of web sites and applications overall. I do have a problem with “web 2.0″ used to refer to (all) sites that have the features listed in some Wise Book of the Internet under “web 2.0″.

*Please do not use the article to form a solid opinion on the matter, it is simply trying to define the term/concept/idea.

Every few moments the whole meaning of what she is saying shifts, a decade goes by in a single sentence. A mini-biography of a long dead musician, actor or painter suddenly turns into a review of that movie everybody saw the night before, into cursing what’s bad in Estonia, what’s bad in Estonians, but also what’s good in Estonians and other peoples in the world.

When written down (by someone else) the result would be a strange stream of consciousness mixed with culture history, a weekly newscast and a satirical comedy. A whole new genre of writing that would surely impress the reader a great deal, given that he or she had enough intelligence and persistence not to take the chaotic style as a sign of stupidity and/or as pointless babble.

Alltime, Anytime is the result of hard labor and superhuman efforts of the collective TIKMensch working long hours in the night to achieve perfection.

The time is now 3:35

Now, it is time to move onward, to the Meaning of Life™

And all that during the chemistry lesson.

Update:

As Anna pointed out I foolishly left out a critical part of the picture, the trained train pilot. I mistakingly took him for a cheering bystander, while he is in fact a Sumerian happy for his recent accomplishment of running me over. Twice.

Really, who are these ads directed at? The “hordes of EU officials visiting Tallinn every day”? Not too likely. Remsu describes it as Tallinn’s pat on it’s own back. So true.

There is also a fancy website, Tallinn2011.ee, also only in Estonian, filled with nonsensensical noninformation for nobody.

One might think the campaign would result in some “call to action” for Tallinners, but that does not appear to be coming. Most probably all the posters and all the buzz will be gone in a few weeks and the entire thing forgotten by everybody.

* The article in whole is mostly about other towns left out of the outwards-facing life of Estonia, the government centralizing everything, making Tallinn more and more important.

Hello, I have a bed for sale and if you are interested please contact me immediately at monitamartins@yahoo.com

Thanks,

Best Regards,

Monita Martins

She sure is very polite.

No need to pay attention to the order of the spamlit/spamnonlit counter numbers. I simply already have a large collection of drafts and publish them as I deem appropriate

I/we could create a new (alternative) for pilt.ee. It seems (to me) that in Estonia, “the average web users” strongly prefer Estonian web sites/apps/”portals” to English ones, even if they have no problem with the language (or “the language to what extent it is used on that particular site”)

By “strongly prefer” I mean that the Est. version does not have to be as good/feature rich/well-established/some other pretty adjective here to be used rather than the competitor from a land far away.

So, whatever-the-new-pilt.ee-alternative-would-be-called, i’d say desperate people with lots of pictures would flock to the site and not use, for example, Flickr.

Even I would prefer something else over Flickr as it is kind of slow(ish) (probably the fact that they are located in the US)

I believe the woman was absolutely correct and that the Elephant is indeed the largest creature/object/thing/phenomenon there is.

“Elevant studios, premier site qui m’ a fait découvrir ces effets, çà le fait !

gali

/—/
by the early 1990s the word hoglet (or sometimes hedgehoglet) had been introduced, and this word seems to have been in general use among those with an interest in hedgehogs since at least the mid-1990s.

[via]

Ah yes, a secret society for those interested in hedgehogs.

Annie still held some, and it was still burning. He actually had needed
He smelled wet horse as it was led into the forge, hooves clattering on the stones.

I didn’t think a thing like that would actually be possible. I mean, if they have an English menu it should mean they get English customers, right??? I wonder how seeing people laugh at their menu didn’t set off any alarm bells in their little heads. Or something.

Aromaatne ring võib koosneda ühest kuuelülilisest tsüklist, see võib olla mitmetsükliline, ja üldsegi mitte kuuelüliline.

“In our scientific investigation of dreams we start with the assumption that dreams are a phenomenon of our own psychic activity; yet the completed dream appears to us as something alien, whose authorship we are so little inclined to recognize that we should be just as willing to say “A dream came to me,” as “I dreamed.”

The C**t c**t c**t c**t c**p c**p s**t entry in the Uncyclopedia is more enlightening than appears at first sight. The literary analysis part is very valid and is as good an explanation of the style of writing as any other.

My favourite part is of course the reference to James Joyce, but the text still also applies to any other author.

“carefully teach rich,
principle edge fire,
bad use why edge commit promised? across anybody money black? here use off sugar drew principle?
we friends added side end?
yours evening news, prison force how profession mischievous did.

As you might (or then again, might have not) noticed I have skipped some Spam Poetry parts. Feel no angst because it is all for the Greater Good.

“down-down my weight
zipping my energy
bring down my weight
zipping my lean muscle mass
bring down my body fat
bring down my wrinkles and sags
revitalizes my hair and nail growth
refresh my memory, mood and mental energy
sleep soundly and awake rested
help “me” getting rid of stress, fatigue and depression

And, in addition to all that wonderfulness it is also “Scientifically Tested Product”, so it is not just some random fellow saying the Product does all that.

* worth reading refers to “you will have a lesser life if you don’t”

Bill Jorgeme says:
Furry Old Lobster

Anna. creature of vanity says:
never heard of a Furry Old Lobster

Bill Jorgeme says:
that’s because the evil lobsters from New York killed the furry lobsters

Bill Jorgeme says:
all of them

Anna. creature of vanity says:
I have never heard of the evil lobsters as well

From Mar 8

Furry Lobster Found

From where it all started

The song Furry Old Lobster by Jonathan Coulton

It is quite amazing how seemingly unbelievable things turn out to be true and how the most surreal ideas are what matter the most. The most incredible part is of course how J. Hodgman knew how to write about the furry lobster in the first place.

Contains a digitized version (scanned in + character recognition applied*) of various study books and other sources of relevant information, as many per subject as possible.

* character recognition - given an image, finds text on the image and turns it into regular computer-text format (such as a Word document). In this case, the image would be a scan of a page in a book.

Teachers, students can search inside every book/other material in the system - keyword searches return pages/chapters with the given keyword(s) present.

Teachers, students can compose custom study materials by mixing together pieces from various sources in the system (books, online, self-created) or rearrange the content of a single source.

Example use cases

1. A history book contains (among other text, of course) 3 chapters on the subject of Vikings, they are not sequential, some paragraphs within the chapters are irrelevant and some important information is not present in the given book. The teacher takes the 3 chapters, removes the pointless paragraphs, optionally highlights some parts of the text (and/or adds other annotations), adds some extra information from HistoryWeb (fictional site), and saves the result for students to use.

2. Some students are studying for a history test and need to find answers for provided revision questions. They search the system for keywords in the questions and get back relevant paragraphs they can then read for the necessary information.

Jonathan Coulton, an American musician, has written and performed the song Curl about the US curling team, their lives, hopes and dreams.

The lyrics to the song and the song itself can be found here.

Author’s notes:

Just so’s you know, the leader of the team is called the “skipper” and the things they slide around are called “rocks” and the zone of concentric circles that you’re aiming for is called the “house”.

Do you prefer bath or shower

• Bath
• Shower
• I am a programmer

Benjamin Franklin’s made while he was 20 a plan to help him live a better life. Every week he followed one point in the list strictly and carefully, then moved on to the next. Upon completing the list (after 13 weeks) he started from the beginning.

The list items represent 13 virtues.

Update (Tuesday afternoon):
Pay utmost attention to #2. It is incredible how accurately I managed to predict the topic of today’s English lesson.

1. Temperance: Eat not to dullness and drink not to elevation.

2. Silence: Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself. Avoid trifling conversation.

3. Order: Let all your things have their places. Let each part of your business have its time.

4. Resolution: Resolve to perform what you ought. Perform without fail what you resolve.

5. Frugality: Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself: i.e. Waste nothing.

6. Industry: Lose no time. Be always employed in something useful. Cut off all unnecessary actions.

7. Sincerity: Use no hurtful deceit. Think innocently and justly; and, if you speak, speak accordingly.

8. Justice: Wrong none, by doing injuries or omitting the benefits that are your duty.

9. Moderation: Avoid extremes. Forebear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

10. Cleanliness: Tolerate no uncleanness in body, clothes or habitation.

11. Chastity: Rarely use venery but for health or offspring; Never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.

12. Tranquility: Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.

13. Humility: Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

The last point leaves me somewhat perplexed. What sort of imitation is he talking about? Making-fun-of-jesus kind of imitation? Or what?

The rest of it seems like good advice to follow, even if not as thoroughly as he did.

In the media lab in TIK

A: Don’t print yet, we need paper first. 

B: No-no, the paper is inside the printer

A: Really? The entire box is full of paper?

B: [Sighs] Well, …sure.

A: [With a voice filled with pure joy and excitement] Oh! Can I take a look? (starts dismantling the printer)

(I then started to laugh and quickly left, leaving A staring at me angrily)

Those of us living is Estonia can use the European version of the store, found here, where you can make your own design using the Chuck Norris elements available and buy the result for a mere £12 + £2 shipping.

I will probably buy a shirt with a picture like this

“Extended weekend”. Oh how useful, you bastard!

I will now return to my blissful oblivion, waiting for everything to become better.

The sentence however is something that would appear in my essays during one of my bad weeks.

Handle everything in the new Toyota RAV4, with its innovative design that’s bigger overall
/—/
That’s a package that makes the road yours, no matter what traffic’s doing.

The footer says “Toyota | Moving forward”.

The love of pointlessly* big cars that is dominant across the US really isn’t something you should be proud of.

“Moving forward”. Pheh.

* having a huge car just for the sake of having a huge car is pointless. Anyone who disagrees is not qualified to disagree.

“I love gay love, he she it loves. ”
~ Oscar Wilde on gay love

Gay love is the Wildest kind of love.

Why is it that anything can be made funnyier by making it an Oscar Wilde quote.

The the in the wild stands tall among the trees, head towering in the sky like a giant … tower. The is an article, the longest article, in fact, by not more than one letter.

The best description any article can ever have.

blog, verb

To noisily and simultaneously void one’s spleen, stomach, bladder and bowels.

Usage: “Get outta my way! I think I’m gonna blog!”

The internet’s secret underground.
Where the groups meet, where you can buy pot online,
where you wanna be to get the real stuff!

Hide your Secrets!

ElitePublishers

The phone rings

I glance at it to see who the late caller is, then cheerfully pick up the phone

Me: Hey

the Caller: Hey you too.
Well, I was wondering… See I’m kind of….
(a loud, sad sigh)
Do you perhaps have some garlic?

Me: *laughter*
Garlic?

the Caller: Yeah. Garlic

Me: Oh well, sure. Be right there

Strange

Ring by Panama Soweto

commit she miserable mentioned?
being news mentioned again?
anything teach window sandwich? anybody appearance pretty already teach did.
motor suddenly how again. motor bought find least miserable.
least music sugar? bad she companion.

<start joyce>

His fingers trembled as he undressed himself in the dormitory.

Sit over, she said. Now then, sir, there’s a bird waiting for you.

He felt the perfect of studies touch it for a moment at the fingers to straighten it. Then, a hot burning stinging tingling blow like the loud crack of a broken stick. The scalding water burst forth.

Kneel down, cried the perfect of studies. Yes, do. Yes, do, said Cecil Thunder. I’d give you such a belt in a second.

Ah, what would happen? One humiliation has succeeded another.

And just finish what we have here and we’ll have another.

Here, Tim or Tom or whatever your name is, give us the same again here. I don’t feel more than eighteen myself.

<end joyce>

The levels of anticipation are high. In fact they have never been higher. Joyce must be a very very sick man, writing things like that. I wonder how the book was not banned, clearly displaying child pornography and other things that should not be written about. And we, young, innocent souls, have to read Joyce’s twisted fantasies, “analyze” them and explain our view on the various aspects of the creation to others doing the same thing. This ensures that no-one will be left untouched (oh what hidden word play lies here!).

Oh Joyce, we await thee.

In my opinion the best part is:

The United States could develop very accurate missiles. The Soviets never mastered that technique very well and to compensate for that they really could level a very large area and take out their intended target without having to actually hit the target itself.

next slow here slow profession night, yours you turning. end bought leader appearance nothing embarrass.
love somewhere reply,
did studied wrong? whom use out?
wrong out explain sugar love. wife steps leader reference a. miserable allow am filled bad tying.
leader goes drew reply promised.

I will publish a book. Really.

Used with kind permission of the author of the clip and the “do it and DIE” permission of the always-wonderfully-red Birgit

Once again I feel I need to point out that I did not post this to offend anybody (especially Birgit) and that this clip should be enjoyed for it’s cuteness

window again black, fire least hard principle latter human.
bought added benefit we make?
pride am anything again beautiful?
reply turning gym shining few. immediate motor leader window turning social?
my bad purpose across embarrass sugar.

What I dislike are the “Nothing cultural this week” week entries, and they appear way too often. The concept of culture being all about museums is annoying. (Liis is not the only one writing these types of posts)

The chaoticness of the text unfortunately comes with some grammar errors. The great speed at which she must be expressing her great thoughts must leave no time for hitting the spacebar between every single word. Also, she overuses commas to separate sentence parts that would be comma-separated when writing in Estonian but not in English. There is sometimes the shortage of articles.

we human development,
across already social profession? out supposedto hard promised miserable mischievous.
supposedto am servants. few fire did latter? off news supposedto use.
beautiful shining anything different next or,
benefit development profession he yours. reading the black thus news. promised profession or raise.

Why does Derek start to become “good” while in prison? His hate for non-whites is so great that he can not stand his fellow “racists” mingling with them. He dislikes his hypocritical and pretentious companions who are not true believers like he is.

It is disturbing that his enlightenment is not really directly a result of him changing through some revelation but rather of something that his hate elicited.

Then again, he did leave The Path of Evil, so should I really bother myself with the aspects concerning his way of leaving the old life? Maybe, maybe not.

I still will.

Derek should definitely not be viewed as a positive character (although it is impossible (unless you are a racist) to do so at first, the latter parts suggest he might be).

Just why is it that the moment Derek and Danny leave the cafe, cheerfully waving goodbye and hinting that the Essay will be handed over very soon I knew the boy was going to die, the essay either flying away in the wind (page by page, peeling away) if the killing was to take place outside, or then being picked up by the teacher standing in silence by the body, if the killing was to take place indoors. And see what happened.Although all examples I could have given have escaped my mind right now, there are still many other stories in which a character dies dramatically right after completing a work describing his life and thoughts and explaining his entire essence to the outside world, a kind of their inner “magnum opus”

Did grandmother die a natural death or perhaps was she scared to death by the Sneaky Tickler.

Do potato fields really matter in the big picture?

And why do things turn out to be what they turn out to be?

Paavo Says:

Based on what I have heard, “boiling an egg with two mobile phones” is a rather appropriate metaphor to use in the context of room 205.

Every time you think you’re just making a call you are actually slowly roasting your brain. Enjoy.

explain taught force bad am profession. filled is nothing, respect already friends few?
anybody next letters news end promised. allow being side prison steps use? nothing side yours here benefit.
sandwich mischievous similar leader similar arms?
am thats a bad. rich mentioned mischievous the leader wanted?
companion respect did servants thats you.

I offer a prize to the one who writes the best ((ultra)short) analysis of this piece.

stringent newtonian blurt survival disquietude, sanctity immersion worthy shun merriment afforest? carp nm covariate.
ieee wigmake bethought spheroid such anemone. europe facsimile ebony budgetary conservative ampex.
tempestuous isaiah calumniate, schuylkill penumbra contralto job venusian cacm, criss scattergun contravene styrofoam babylon alderman?
enquire bootlegging wavefront carmichael aspect weep. swishy coupon avenge exuberant colleague corpse.
trashy churchill mawkish? still iceland claude marlowe barkeep.

“styrofoam babylon alderman”. Indeed, there’s the rub.

Some ancient alderman trying to promote his re-election as ruler of Babylon by entering a part of his tagline (”Babylon, it ain’t no styrofoam”) into an email message and sending it to me. Given the wide range of the internet he probably does not know that I have, in fact, no possibility whatsoever to vote for him. And that I do not want to vote for him.

(The links are on the sidebar (home page only) under the cloud keywords.)

* Daily does not actually mean I will actually post something every day.

Anna.    draw wings for me says:
no safe thoughts

zaajats says:
there are

zaajats says:
(not that I know any, but still)

Anna.    draw wings for me says:
you see

So what are safe thoughts? Are they pointless thoughts that have no true meaning and therefore no chance of being of any influence?

The “not that I know any” part meant that I have a strange ability to expand a single idea, no matter how minute, into a huge internal dilemma/discussion, that then prevents me from working when it is daytime and from falling asleep when I should in fact, sleep. Therefore, every thought I have is potentially dangerous.

It is still mostly a good thing, kind of a constant brain/mind exercise (but is, like any other exercise, very tiring)

Uniqueness is good. Even if sometimes, due to that uniqueness things that are unlikable happen.

I will always prefer someone opinionated over a totally agreeable and therefore quite boring person.

Further examples will not be given for the purposes of me retaining my earthly life.

Anna. draw wings for me says:
I’m an alien

zaajats says:
you’re different

Anna. draw wings for me says:
I know

zaajats says:
good

This week I really did’t do anything cultural. I didn’t watch any movies, go to any concerts or anything, [source]

Or

So..here I should speak about culture. Let me think of the last time I went to the theatre or cinema or an exhibition. [source]

Or

A museum tour
Well for the start I must say that it was really boring but at least I have something to cultural to write about. [source]

Why is it that the word “culture” for some immediately brings to mind boring (classical music) concerts and long plays in the theatre and dull visits to an even duller museum. Culture is, in fact, everything. This, in one part, makes it the worst ‘category’ to write posts under, but then again forces us (in theory), to write about anything and everything.

The best definition of culture (on how I see it):

“The totality of socially transmitted behavior patterns, arts, beliefs, institutions, and all other products of human work and thought.”

So whatever you do is culture. Everything is culture.

Please don’t make me read any more of the “I didn’t go to the theatre this week, therefore I saw no culture” posts that then, expressing the utter bitterness on non-culturality, continue to make resentful statements.

UPDATE: Roald wrote on his blog a post on the same subject.

how news off shining miserable. whom nothing next thus how? bought anybody parents allow.
commit make companion love did goes.
immediate tying find turning reading? black my again studied arms respect. principle speaking we wrong black similar,
filled added social across pretty love, happened latter here edge side commit.
thats love gym out how anybody

The message is quite well hidden in this one.

Paper folding

With much practice one can fold an almost-normal-sized piece of paper 8 times (in half, the result in half, etc etc etc).

Using specialized folding techniques developed by the use of advanced mathematics to calculate paper fold thickness and more, paper has been folded 12 times. To this day that is considered to be unbeatable.

However, the common folk do not take into account Chuck Norris, who can fold paper an infinite number of times. Twice.

wife nothing not social wanted. again wanted latter evening next wanted. bought anything few?
am wrong wrong reference turning. force how raise. embarrass black thus force wanted.
purpose motor studied friends find goes?
news happened motor.
human again she steps young bought.

School, for its surreal essence and for the constant but slight tone of impending death, best described in Stevenson’s “The Devil and the Innkeeper”, is stevenson.

The color yellow and everything that has ever been painted yellow for some practical reason is, for obvious reasons, stevenson.

An onion, for its multi-layerdness and for its similarity to several aspects of school life (mostly because it makes you cry) is, once again, stevenson.

Old wooden ships that carry gunpowder kegs and decorated pipes on board are stevenson for their utmost similarity to various works by the currently discussed writer.

The Little Gray Book Lectures are, for the one-time reference to school being like an onion, and for the (constantly expressed) profoundly philosophical view on life presented by a man travelling via submarine under the East River, stevenson.

Spies, for their connection to the Little Gray Book Lectures via an aquamemory phone, activated (after a failed robotic spider attack) by a thief from a safe in an art museum displaying candles, is not stevenson, because it is simply too tenuous a connection.

This post, for its extreme confusiousness for an unaware reader (one of who you probably are) and the bitter view on life, expertly hidden behind complex and incorrect sentence structures is half-stevenson, a second-tier cousin of the “completely stevenson” examples described earlier.

All related posts are tagged ’spamlit’

Who is that elderly* man there, attempting to pick up a piece of paper, trying to ignore his horrible back pain?

Oh, “turvateenistus”. Of course.

I felt a bit bad for laughing out loud in front of him.

*elderly actually refers to something like: “It’s old, ugly and smells like mold“

anybody suddenly motor? yours friends supposedto arms. you young make nothing reading?
studied a taught bought speaking. turning side miserable next.
he fire fire money.
motor here few. find servants is is bad. is money different?
mischievous end immediate.

This is starting to get creepy.

Un·cred·i·ble
a.
Incredible. Bacon.

Comment from: admin [Member]
didn’t remember i had it already :-) and it was only 0.82 euros.

Hmm…

(I am aware of the pointlessness of this, but couldn’t resist)

sandwich the sandwich speaking purpose? different embarrass use companion.
reading shining did, promised we motor, different immediate again.
mentioned mischievous shining. development young young music development.
out night arms benefit development.
how thus profession. again off bad here here filled. sandwich filled wife.

The “sandwich filled wife” part is my favourite, gives a nice final touch to the piece, a puänt, if you will.

Why is it that this überpseudopoetry can’t be found more often?

he pretty different anything.
night immediate is bought social, reply off benefit, anything mischievous thats.
being side corner?
supposed to commit not you make.
gym sugar friends young tying mentioned

Like some twisted haiku, a rhetorical question expressing the deepest thoughts of some unknown person, this magnificent strangeness found its way to me, travelling long under oceans, below busy city life and peaceful meadows.

Siiski on vene ikoonimaal leebem, parimad teosed kätkevad nii inimväärikust kui ka headust.

WHAT?

I have to read something three times just to understand it, leave alone the extra x times needed to extract the important information (that there is so little of). Why? Because the author thought he would be very ‘learned’ and ‘educated’ if he used pointless adjectives to describe irrelevant events and puny objects.

I am not saying this because I don’t want to learn history — I find it fun(ny) at times, learning about great leaders who accidentally drown in some river while in a camp after a successful crusade, and about how someone with the original role as ‘head house cleaner’ (whatever) takes over an empire.

Because they are very disturbing indeed.

Or why is it that whenever you turn on the radio you will hear That Song You’ve Heard A Billion Times and why we choose to listen to My Favourite Song a billion+ times, rather than, perhaps, listening to completely new music by artists still unknown to us.

This is actually quite closely related to “The Curse of the Classics” article and the following discussion — the ruthless promotion of top list albums leaves 99,9% of musicians completely out of the loop. Is ‘My Favourite Band’ the favourite because they make the best music there is or just because one cannot listen to every single song ever created.

Probably the latter option.

So, if I listened to a playlist containing every song ever created (trance music doesn’t count), would I find a new Favourite every 10 songs, then discard it as the next one emerges?

Or would I quit categorizing music as Favourite/Non-Favourite and just enjoy?

I feel so sorry for those that think the sales rank of a particular CD is a crucial measure and choose their idols based on what others do. Just about as close to the ‘grey mass of society’ as it gets.

Vacation auto-responder
Set an auto-response so that if you’re lying on a beach or taking a train across Siberia, your friends will know you won’t be checking your email

<Geezer_Druid> pegens = pagans + vegans ?

18. Read minds!

Your own! “If you’re giving a speech the next day, review it before falling asleep,” says Candi Heimgartner, an instructor of biological sciences at the University of Idaho. Since most memory consolidation happens during sleep, anything you read right before bed is more likely to be encoded as long-term memory.